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Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Disappointed (warning: this is a whiney post)

I am really disappointed in SOME of our friends lately. Ya know, Jeff and I have made it to every baby shower, birthday party, and whatever else event that our friends have put on. We have always been there at the drop of a hat when someone needed help, a favor or anything. I am really sick of when we need something or need support, people are suddenly just so uncontrollably busy that they can't even take one evening out of their entire lives to come for an hour and remember our son. It's like we take second place to everything.
It really hurts my feelings to know that myself and my family are constantly second in everyone's minds. We are never invited over to places anymore, probably because we don't have kids or something....what the hell is that?? I haven't even really sat, hung out, or talked to my some of who I think of as my best friends in who knows how long. I know people are busy, hell, we just moved into a new house and there is a lot to be done, but I still find time to text message my friends and I TRY to hang out with them, but they are just way too busy I guess. Just because our kid is not living, he deserves just as much attention as everyone elses. Obviously some people don't feel that way. It is really disappointing.  I just feel that me and my family should be important enough to be made time for.

Finally we are so excited about something in our lives---our house, and only ONE friend came to help us move. We were lucky to have Jeff's dad there to help because had he not been there we would have moved on our own. We were also lucky to have our friend to help us one Saturday to move some of the big stuff. I sent out invites to our housewarming party, mostly to family and then Jeff's friends at the guard. None of the friends have RSVP'd or responded. I am hoping in the future we find some really true friends we can hang out with. Ones that will respect and think of us just like we respect and think of them. I am sick of us going out on a limb constantly and getting next to nothing in return. I am not a selfish person, but I am very protective of my family and am especially protective when it comes to my son. Sorry for the rant, but I just needed to vent.

I am so thankful for the friends I have gained since everything happened with Hayden--friends that stepped up so much more than even our closest friends. Some are people I hardly talked to prior to everything that happened with Hayden. Thank you so much for being there for us. I am also soooo incredibly lucky to have my family. My FAMILY is my best friends. Period. I have definitely learned that. Hope things change soon. I am very emotional when it comes to my family and my son and I have finally just had it with being sad about this all the time. I'm just not going to put out the effort anymore. If people want to hang out with us, they can do some of the work I guess.