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Friday, February 25, 2011

First Meeting

Today/tonight went a little crazy, but let me tell you, it was fun! Tonight was supposed to be the first night all the members of the Face2Face Fresno/Clovis (and surrounding areas) got together at the Cheesecake Factory. Last night I had counted 10 ladies that were going to come, so I made 12 (just in case) red velvet cake cheesecake pops and wrapped them up all cute as favors for tonight! Earlier in the day today Melanie and I did lots of planning and working on decor for Cambria's big first b-day! It was so fun and I loved spending the entire day with the two of them :)) Throughout the day I got a few cancellations some due to sickness and some due to weather, but I still counted 5 ladies so I figured that was still a decent sized group. We went upstairs around 4:30 to get all dolled up which was fun actually getting ready for a change! On the way there, I realized that wearing open toed wedges was probably not the best idea so we stopped at my house and I put boots on. While driving to the Cheesecake Factory I received another cancellation! That left us with 4 ladies! Then, I realized I left all the cake pops in the fridge!! GRR!!!! We sat at a table that seated 4 and waited a while, drooling over the delicious bread we couldn't eat (Mel is gluten-intolerant and I can't have carbs due to APS hahahaa). Mel couldn't resist it's deliciousness and had to have literally a pinch hahaha!!! When no one else showed up, we decided we would just go ahead and order. Two amazing salads were on our menu's tonight! So good!! We noticed this lady that walked in alone and was waiting in the corner. We watched and continued to eat our salads. Finally we decided to have our waitress go over and ask her if she was there to meet us, and she was!! Sandy sat with us and came all the way from Visalia to join us and I am SOO glad she did...what an amazing woman. I cannot wait to have more meetings! Just having someone who understands what a loss of this magnitude feels like is just so comforting and the fact that you can sit and laugh about some of the same experiences is just absolutely fabulous. I think the next meeting I have will be just a potluck type thing in my home where we can just sit and relax, but I want to talk to the ladies and see what they think. If anyone has suggestions for group meetings such as this, comment below! Thanks! xoxox

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Good News

Went to the Doc on Monday and found out that my blood clot is completely resolved!! Such wonderful news!! I am off of the nasty stupid Coumadin and onto a baby asprin regimen! I am so excited!! I really don't have much more to say right now but yeah!! ttyl!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Event Blog

Hello everyone!

This entry is gonna be a bit different than what you are usually used to my blogging about because I wanted to talk about a few awesome things that are going on that YOU can participate in!

Okay so first things first,

Next Friday, Feb. 25th at 6:30pm is the first Face2Face Fresno/Clovis area dinner meeting! It is at Cheesecake Factory! Anyone in the Central Valley who has suffered any kind of pregnancy or infant loss is welcome to join! This meeting only, you may bring one friend or family member (who has/hasn't suffered a loss) to join us for the dinner if you would like! You MUST RSVP!! Here's the link to the group:


I want to let all of you know that the 7th Annual Angel Babies "Walk to Remember" walk/run will be May 7th at Woodward Park! All of the details are on the Angel Babies website and you can register there if you are interested! Walk for Hayden James Pfeifer, or for someone else, or just because you want to support the Angel Babies! Here is the link:


I am like kickin' booty and crankin' out the articles now that I am the Makeup Examiner for Fresno!! All comments, page views, and subscriptions boost my stats which will give me more exposure :)) Your support is MUCH appreciated!! Here's the link for that:


I opened a twitter account where I am going to be posting daily makeup and beauty tips (short, sweet, and to the point) along with daily deals that I find like discounts on makeup, sales, and designer clothes. My twitter account is: inmybeautybag Follow me!!


This is the most incredible site ever!!! Register to get access to 50-75% off designer merch that is IN SEASON!! Juicy, Fendi, Coach, Rock and Republic and MORE!! Sign up here is my personal invite for you! it's FREE!!

So anyway...there's my little schpeel :)) ta-ta xoxox

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

BIG update!

Okay, so besides my selfish rant I went on recently (sorry about that) I haven't updated anyone on the latest 'haps' so here ya go:

Health Update:
Saturday night, I went into the ER because I had been having some major pain and tightness in my chest, pain in my jaw, and in my arms. When I looked all of this up online, everything pointed to a Heart Attack. That made everything worse especially since Jeff was working and my mom was out of town. I drove myself to the ER at about 7:30ish. They got me right in because of my history of the DVT and the fact I am on Coumadin. They checked my vitals and did some blood work and chest x-rays. Then they had me sit out in the waiting room for about an hour--obviously nothing serious was being found. They then admitted me to a room where I lay there for TWO hours without anyone even checking my vitals, hooking me up to anything, nothin...I just, lay there. LOL finally I got up and asked one of the other nurses walking around who my nurse was and let her know no one had come to check me out yet. (Believe me, they were VERYYY busy, but if I was fine enough to go home, I would have gladly just left and gotten out of their way!) She went to get my nurse and about 45min later my nurse came in and checked my vitals. My head was hurting and she gave me tylenol. Obviously, my case was not a concern for anyone. No EKG, no nothin. So, I sat and waited for the Dr. to come in. He told me it was probably muscle spasms and sent me on my way. Mind you, this was at 4:30am. LOL. I drove myself home and TRIED to go to bed. It didn't work.

Luckily, my friend Nicole brought me a heating pad and some muscle relaxers over that morning which helped me to rest. I was sore all over. I began thinking it was anxiety attacks. I had my weekly blood test Monday morning so I just waited until then to talk to my doctor.

When I got to my Dr. appt the next morning, I explained to her everything that went on. She suspected anxiety as well and is having me take some herbal supplements to see if they help. She also gave me my referral to get an ultrasound on my leg done to check if the blood clot is gone. Dr. Morlan said that if the clot is gone, I can get off the coumadin and switch to baby asprin which means we can start trying to conceive...but we talked and think we will probably wait a while to start trying again. Who knows, we go back and forth all the time on that. The main reason I want to be off the coumadin is because my hair is starting to fall out and it's driving me nuts!! All my blood tests came back 'not as severe as what she thought' so that is good. I was able to make my ultrasound appt that same day so I got that done. The UT said my vein was compressing nicely and the blood flow was perfect so that is good too! **cross your fingers for no more coumadin!!**

I also got a phone call from the hemotologist yesterday to schedule my appt with him. That is set for March 10th. So man alive....hopefully all of this is gonna be taken care of soon!

Other Updates:
Putting all other news aside, I am so excited because I applied to do some freelance writing for a website called and got the gig! It's pretty low paying, but it's fun and it's just for extra money. Plus the exposure, practice, and the fact I can put it on my resume is great! Subscribe to my articles here:
When I went to grab that link, I noticed one of my articles was featured on the front page!!! WOO HOO!! That was awesome!!

Next, Jeff and I booked our tickets for Maui! We are so excited!!! Maui is just the most wonderful, beautiful experience you could ever imagine...we are just so happy there :)

Ummm....Also, today I am getting an hour long massage at 3:30pm :)) My father-in-law got it for me for Christmas and I just have been a little, ummm, preoccupied and haven't used it yet haha ;)

I think that's all that's going on with me right now, so until somethin' else goes on, ta-ta!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Need to VENT

If you get offended by this, I literally don't care. It's my blog and I have every right to feel as I do. Thanks :)

If one more person complains about how they "can't wait for the baby to be here because..." or are "sick and tired of how their babies are doing blah blah blah because..."
1. They are tired of being pregnant
2. They can't sleep
3. They want to party
4. They are getting 'fat'
5. Their baby is 'keeping them up' or crying 'too much'
6. some other IDIOTIC reason...

I am going to literally scream. HOW SELFISH can you be?!?!? I would give ANYTHING to be pregnant with my baby and have him here with me screaming and crying and here for me to hold....As his due date approaches and I have to walk past his bedroom everyday knowing he will never play with the toys or sleep in the crib that are for him, I want to rip my hair out everytime one of 8 people I know who are pregnant or have had their babies complains. I am boycotting all of these girls and if I read it on their facebooks one more time that they just are freakin' unhappy, I have no desire to speak/be friends on Facebook anymore. STOP TAKING YOUR PREGNANCY and YOUR BABY'S LIFE FOR GRANTED.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Praise God!!

Glory to God in the Highest!! He is doing such great things for me!!

Today I had my doctors appointment for my weekly blood check-up. My INR, which has been ridiculously HIGH (meaning my blood was basically TOOOOO thin) and up in the 6's and 7's was down to a 3.5!! That is great!! They want it between a 2 and a 3, but that was really close!! Much closer than we have been!

Also, my bloodwork still hadn't come back yet from last week, but the doc wasn't surprised because it was a very extensive blood test. So we need to just pray for that, that nothing more was found...BECAUSE GUESS WHAT!

Starting next week, I will probably be off the Coumadin!!!!!! I will start a baby asprin regimen and they will check to see what is going on with my blood clot in my leg in 4 weeks!! Last week, Dr. Dave and Dr. Morlan (thats my PCP) talked and Dr. Dave said that he was very confident in taking over for my next pregnancy and that he is confident that I will have successful pregnancy! When we do get pregnant again, he will refer me to a perinatologist (not to be confused with palaeontologist lol!) whom I will see along side Dr. Dave to ensure the pregnancy is monitored very closely! IT GETS BETTER! Dr. Dave also said that when I am off the Coumadin, we can start trying as soon as my healing "down there" is over!!!!!!!! YIPPPIIEEEE!!! I am trying not to get tooo excited in case things change, but I can't contain myself! I am so excited!!!

Praise God! Good things are happening in my life right now!!! I know holding onto God is the only way I will make it through this crazy thing I call my life :))

Thursday, February 3, 2011

It's really hard

I don't know if anyone else knows how I feel, but it is just becoming more and more difficult for me to be happy for my friends who are having babies....I have 8 friends who are expecting right now, and as much as I am DYING to see them/hear about their pregnancies and see the pictures, I just absolutely cannot. I try and force myself to because I know I won't be able to feel this way forever, and I can't....I get short of breath, my heart starts pounding and I have to swallow so hard to keep the tears from flowing. In the doctors office the other day, two women came in with baby carriers and as they both tended to their baby's coo's, they conversed about 'how old the babies were' and 'how much they are enjoying motherhood'...It took everything I had to not start bawling....It's so not fair because my son should be due next month...I should be on my 8th month of pregnancy, putting away everything I got from the baby shower. My son should be older than my 8 other friends...instead, I just hold his picture in my palm... Today my mom, little brother and I took flowers over to the cemetery where there still is only a stake in the ground, his name stamped on it like just another piece of paperwork. The flowers Jeff and I took over were removed. I wondered why his temporary headstone hadn't been put in and why they had removed my flowers. The clean up wasn't set until March 31. I went into the office at the cemetery to ask the ladies about these two questions. When I asked one lady when the temporary headstone would be placed, an older lady in a VERY rude tone stated "They are placed a month from burial." and when I asked what had happened to my flowers she stated again, like I was wasting her time that I, "should have not put the flowers in a basket. Baskets are NOT allowed. If you want flowers there just lay them on the ground. Otherwise they will be removed." I just turned and walked out the door. I bawled my head off. What a mean person. Completely insensitive to someone. If you work at a cemetery, you should be as nice as possible. People are there grieving their loved ones. I'm sure if it were her child or grandchild, her tone would be COMPLETELY different.


**Warning. First Paragraph is Gross. Thanks. :)**

Well, I thought the bleeding was over....But nooooooooOOOOOoooo. Now, I'm onto my period. SHEESH! And let me tell you. I have never been jealous of someone who gets to wear tampons until I had to use pads while on my's seriously almost as bad as after I had Hayden!! Ughh...Sorry, you guys totally don't wanna know all that...

On another note,

My mom and I made A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E. shirts for the superbowl :)) I will post pics when we have them on :) I finally broke down and bought a pair of $14.99 jeans. I told myself that I wasn't going to buy ANY jeans until I was back down to my original size, but seriously, I am sick of wearing sweats EVERY day. So I bought one pair. They are Paper Denim...HAHAHAHA. I cannot believe you can get paper denim jeans for $14 bucks now! HILARIOUS. That's what I get for paying $200 for them five years ago. High school kids are so materialistic! Well, I was at

I feel really accomplished today because my math final is done, and I got my geology capstone (like a checkpoint paper) done....Now all I have to finish is my powerpoint for geology and I am done with those classes. All I have left is one class which I start Monday and it is going to be E.A.S.Y...It's Diversity in the Classroom. It's easy because it interests me. Kind of like geology and English. I had never been interested in geology until I took this class...It really is cool! Wow, I'm a nerd. Speaking of nerds, this book I am currently reading is FABULOUS... My friend Shae's mom, Cathy, sent it to me after Hayden's funeral. It was such a pleasant surprise. It is called, "The Boy Who Came Back From Heaven". It is amazing, really, it is and it's a true story. It is about a little boy who is 6 years old who got into a fatal car accident with his dad. His head was basically severed from his head and he was surviving based off of life support. He went to heaven and could remember scenes from the accident and things that were going on in the hospital room even though he wasn't concious or even alive at the time. He spent 2 months in a coma and then survived! When he came back he had such an amazing story to share about being in heaven! If you have the opportunity to read it, you really should...

Anyways, I am just so bored today. I am trying to come up with tasty menus for the next few weeks that are low carb and low sugar...this is how I have to eat for the rest of my life, which I am finding can be very tasty...just no fun foods which are my favorite like breads, potatoes, chips, lol.

Let me know if you have any good low carb low sugar recipes :))


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Things Discovered and Explained

Ok, rather than being upset and PISSED (like I was earlier, I must admit), by the grace of God, the doctors have found the condition I have and will begin to treat me immediately. This condition is also likely why Hayden's life ended the way it did. I have an autoimmune disorder called Antiphospholipid syndrome, or APS.

Feel free to look it up on web MD for further information because I don't feel like explaining it all haha. Basically in a very small nut shell, it is a blood disorder which is genetic (a genetic disease) in which the immune system attacks the cell membranes of the blood and causes blood clots (hence, the DVT). Stillbirth, Miscarriage, and Severe Preclampsia are all very common in those who have APS.

As much as some may think I would be depressed, frightened, or mad that this 'wasn't caught sooner' or that 'it's just one thing after another with my health', trust me all that went through my head, but I cannot help but just be happy that God allowed the doctors to find this at all. Can you imagine if it went undetected and I ended up having another stillbirth?? Or even dying from this disease?? Now that we know, the doctors can help me to live with this disease and even to have a healthy baby while living with the disease and THAT is something to be thankful for.

Today they did more blood tests (10 vials of blood!!) and will probably end up taking me off of the coumidin starting next week. My dose has already been lowered. If we are very lucky and the numbers from the blood tests lower enough over the next 10 weeks, we may be lucky enough to start trying for our little miracle baby. Pray Pray Pray for us :) xoxox