In my Dreams

Last night, my little boy visited me in my dreams, and while it may not make sense to anyone else, I can't even talk about it without crying because of how real it was.

I remember going to the funeral home to pick up Hayden's body for some reason. As I walked up to the door, I saw a car seat with a beautiful baby boy dressed adorably and all bundled up. I thought 'That's my baby....That's Hayden'. I walked over to the car seat and looked down at the beautiful baby. He was perfect, as perfect as I remembered him. And he was breathing. He was alive! I took him out of his car seat and held him for so long. He cooed and smiled at me. We ended up at my great-grandparents house where the whole family got to see him. I took him into the back living room away from everyone where I breast-fed him (and my boob was sore this morning when I woke up) and changed his diaper. I put a new outfit on him and he went back to sleep, back to heaven.

Even though my day with my Hayden was just in a dream is was so extremely real to me and I will treasure the fact that he came to visit me and that God allowed me to have such a vivid experience. I think this means I am going to have a good day today :)